


Self-Perseverance

by AshRain



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Crying, Deceit Sanders Needs a Hug, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Remus is only mentioned, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, being overwhelmed, deceit being a good friend, negative thinking, supportive deceit, virgil and deceit being good friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23361508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshRain/pseuds/AshRain
Summary: Virgil and Deceit are self-preservation, two sides of the same coin. But what happens when one side of the coin can’t keep going?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Platonic DLAMP
Comments: 4
Kudos: 111





	Self-Perseverance

“I _don’t _think you should rest, Virgil.”  
—__

____

“You _shouldn’t _drink this, it’s _no _t water, it will do you some _bad _if you stay hydrated.”______

_______ _ _ _

—

_______ _ _ _

“ _Don’t _sit down, you _don’t _look like you’re going to pass out and I’m sure all that pacing is doing _wonders _for you.”______

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m _fine. _”__

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh yes you _definitely _are, Virgil.”__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I mean it, Deceit. I’m fine. I can keep going.”

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Of course you _can _. You totally _shouldn't _let me take over some of the job, you _haven’t _been running yourself into the ground since Remus revealed himself. We’re _not _self-preservation so you _shouldn’t _let me help you.” Deceit insisted.__________

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“No! It’s fine, I can deal with it. I have to protect Thomas and you and the others, I’m Fight or Flight, I can’t just push my responsibilities onto you just because- what? Because I’m a little stressed?” Virgil argued, still pacing. “No, you have to focus on your role, it’s gonna be hard enough for me to protect Thomas now that he knows what i am - was. He hates me again, he won’t listen to me anymore.”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Virgil- he doesn’t hate you.”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I know he does, no need to tell me again, Dee”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“No, i mean it. I’m not lying. He doesn’t hate you Virgil.”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And this seemed to get the other side’s attention. The commons were completely silent, Virgil’s footsteps no longer present since he now stood as if he’d been rooted to the spot. He didn’t move for several moments before his shoulders slumped.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I don’t believe you. He’s gotta hate me now. I told him I was a Dark side and he doesn’t like the Dark sides so he doesn’t like me anymore and he hates me and i lied to him for ages and he doesn’t like lying either so either you’re lying or you’re wrong!” He was getting more and more upset and Deceit noticed how his hands shook despite his efforts to still them.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Virgil began pacing again, this time from his usual spot by the stairs. To the couch thomas always stood in front of. Back to the stairs. Back to the couch. 

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I swear to you, Virgil. I am not lying to you. Look at me. You always recognise if I’m lying or not. So look at me and tell me if I’m lying.” Deceit demanded, not sure if it would work but determined to find something to help the anxious side.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Virgil stopped again, between couch and stairs, regarding Deceit with wide, wet eyes. Deceit looked back steadily, meeting Virgil’s mismatched eyes with his own until the anxious side looked away again.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“You didn’t see him, Dee. He looked scared of me. So no. I can’t stop. I failed to protect him from Remus and I failed to keep him safe and i can’t stop. I failed him. I can’t fail him again, Dee.” he repeated, unaware that their conversation had progressively gotten louder until it was audible to the Light sides who were now coming down the stairs to investigate.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“And I- he hurt Roman. I can’t afford to rest. What if he hurts Patton or Logan or Roman again and i can’t stop him and they start hating me again because they know I’m a Dark side and i’m bad and can’t even keep them safe. I’m Fight or Flight, what am i if i can’t even protect the light sides or you? Useless is what i’d be and-” he broke off in a sob, black eyeshadow running down his cheeks as he slammed his sweater paws over his mouth to muffle any other noises.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Deceit’s eyes widened in shock. He wanted to make Virgil feel better, not make him cry! 

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh shi- Virgil, Virgil it’s okay, please don’t cry.” He pleaded, hands hovering uncertainly over the other’s arms. He looked over Virgil’s head, giving Patton, Logan and Roman a desperate look.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The thought of ‘What do I do?’ Was obvious on his face.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It took another muffled sob from Virgil to pull Patton out of his shocked stupor.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Oh Verge, my baby, it’s okay, we won’t ever hate you. Dark or Light side, it doesn’t matter, we love you regardless! We love you so much sweetie. Can I touch you? Verge, can I touch you?” Patton babbled as he rushed down the remaining few steps, coming to a stop in front of Virgil, hands fluttering over his arms and shoulders.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Virgil just pitched forwards into Patton’s arms, clinging to his shirt as he buried his wet face in his shoulder. Patton cooed and wrapped his arms around him in turn, holding him tightly and securely with one arm around the waist and running his free hand through the short hair at the back of his head.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“There you go baby, deep breaths. I’m here, I got you. I love you. You’re not useless. You’re not bad. Not bad at all, sweetie. You’re ours and even if Thomas doesn’t understand we’ll still love you.” he kept mumbling sweet nothings right into Virgil’s ear and lightly rocking him as the other side sobbed into his shoulder.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

These emotions had been building for too long and Virgil had been stretching himself too thin and he hadn’t really slept ever since Remus had revealed himself a week ago. All his fight and anger had drained away and now he had nothing left but tears and exhaustion. He couldn’t stop crying even if he actually wanted to but Patton’s arms were steady and strong around him and the hug felt like safety, like he could finally let go. Deceit, Logan and Roman were surrounding them, each of them touching him in some way and giving off their own reassurances as well.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gradually Virgil seemed to relax more into Patton until he was pretty much limp, only held up by the other side holding him up and a while later he had even stopped crying, just staying in Patton’s safe embrace.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“There you are, Verge. That’s a good boy. That must have been a lot of bottled up emotions. And it must have taken a lot out of you huh kiddo? How about we have a rest? Lolo can get you some water and Ro and Dee can pull out the couch or even make a blanket fort for all of us to snuggle up in. Does that sound okay? If we’re all together we can protect each other so you can sleep a little. You must be so exhausted, baby.”

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

There was a beat of silence as Virgil thought it over, then he just nodded, barely visible with how he had hidden his face in Patton’s shoulder but it was enough for the others to see so they left to do as Paton had suggested. Roman and Deceit got started on a blanket fort, complete with fairy lights while Logan went to get water and snacks, enough to feed all of them.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Once everything was set up Patton ushered Virgil into the fort. He looked dead on his feet and followed Patton’s instructions, laying down and snuggling into Deceit’s open arms while Patton went to queue up Virgil’s favorite movies.

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“Now we _can’t _all relax, okay Verge? We _won’t _watch the Nightmare Before Christmas and some other movies and if you fall asleep that’s _not at all _fine. You _totally _have to keep an eye out. We _won’t _protect you for a change, alright?” Deceit told him as the others got settled in around them, the Nightmare Before Christmas beginning to play on the TV.__________

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

And if Virgil was asleep even before This is Halloween was over, his family wouldn’t say anything - their protector needed his rest. And if Virgil woke up just as Jack joins Sally on their hill, his family is there to calm him down from his nightmare.

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

They would always be there.

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to find me on tumblr @ashrain5


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